April 09, 2020
Tuesday was my birthday (go shorty it’s your birthday!!!). I think birthdays are a big deal. Even if no one else celebrates your birthday, you should. Seriously, you should always celebrate your birthday. It has been 365 days since you had one and it will be a year before you have another. I truly believe in honoring yourself on your birthday. So much so that I wrote a guided journal on how to celebrate yourself (you can find it here ). When I was younger I took them for granted a little. But in the climate we live in today, we need to cherish every moment.
On Tuesday, I woke up in no mood to celebrate anything let alone getting older. But as I got out of bed, I looked over to my husband and Maggie, my puppy, (actually as my brother calls her my doghter, dog +daughter lol ) waiting to sing to me, I couldn’t help but realize how lucky I am. Thousands of people didn’t get the chance to wake up. And even more, may not have a safe shelter or bed to lie in.
How dare I throw a mini pity party, I thought. But you know what, I had every right to own my feelings and to be sad. Yes, I am beyond blessed, but that doesn’t mean I can”t mourn how life and my birthdays usually are. It doesn’t mean I am ungrateful or a bad person. It means I am human. Life right now is unstable. As a planner and a person who loves to make lists, this is hard. I have had a running 5-year list every year since I turned 10 when my mom told me I could wear lipstick when I turned 15. (Spoiler alert, she changed it to 17 once I got to 15, and I’ve had trust issues ever since).
I realized this birthday was going to be different. But it wasn’t canceled. I started with what I do every year. I read the letter I wrote to myself last year. I cried at a few things I hadn’t accomplished but was amazed at how much I had. Then I wrote the letter to my future self. Then I proceed with my normal birthday routine:
There were things I didn’t get to do this year, but that’s okay. My goal was to keep as much normalcy in my day as possible. I got virtual hugs and love over the phone from my family and friends. My free scoop at Baskin Robbins will happen again. If not, time to start a new tradition. It’s your day you can start and stop something at any time. Your birthday is about you and how you survived another year. You have to at the very least celebrate this feat. I’m not telling you to go out and have a parade (but if you do, I will attend) but do something that brings you joy, even if it’s sitting on the couch watching old episodes of Charmed. (Which I can not confirm nor deny that is what I did).
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April 30, 2020